


daylight goes on (just to assure her she's not wrong)

by orphan_account



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-05 08:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: The Bean is everything Alex loves, but at the same time, everything she hates. It's warm and cosy and the cinnamon latte is everything she loves in life and if she were just a customer, just a normal person dropping by to forget the world for a little bit, she thinks it would fast become her favourite place. (used to be called 'the jukebox is playing, lovers are dating, the waitress is waiting' but that was one hell of a mouthful am I right ladies???)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_They walk in and sit down,  
_ _With their mood of the day.  
_ _They read books over tea,  
_ _They give tips when they pay.  
_ _Butter and bread,  
_ _diet Coke and cake,  
_ _She takes notes,  
_ _she makes no mistakes._

 The Bean is everything Alex loves, but at the same time, everything she hates. It's warm and cosy and the cinnamon latte is everything she loves in life and if she were just a customer, just a normal person dropping by to forget the world for a little bit, she thinks it would fast become her favourite place. 

 As it is however, working behind the counter for nine hours a day, every day except Sunday, she's beginning to hate the sight of the place.

 It's small, and hidden away in a backstreet in a small town, so most of their customers are regulars, who've tasted the coffee and couldn't stay away. She knows almost all of them by name, but every once in a while, they have someone new. Not quite a regular, because they maybe only come once every few weeks for a while, but everyone who works there knows that after the third time, they've got them.

 It's been three months since they had an influx of new customers, and it's driving Alex insane.

 She's twenty three, young and beautiful with potential, and drive, and motivation, but nothing to use it on. She's stuck in a small town serving coffee day in and day out, waiting for something to happen, to give her a sign that she could make it out.

 It's been almost a year, and it hasn't come yet.

 She's cleaning her final table of the day when Kelley, her flatmate and workmate and closest friend pats her on the back to say goodbye.

 "I gotta get going, I've got a date tonight!" She's already changed out of her uniform, into sweatpants and a tank top. She spins around in the middle of the cafe, catching her foot on a chair and just barely stopping herself from falling. Alex laughs.

 "Don't stay out too late, we've got work in the morning."

 "Don't worry girl, I'll be home by midnight." Kelley is almost out the door when she turns to Alex and tacks on, "unless, you know-" with a wink so suggestive Alex absolutely does know. And she's still laughing about it ten minutes later.

 When she's finished work every day, Alex likes to take a seat in the corner, beside the fire that draws in customers in the winter, and just think. Sometimes she'll read, but mostly she can just sit in silence, the last person in the building, sometimes for a couple of minutes, every now and again for an hour. 

 She must have fallen asleep this time, because she opens her eyes and it's dark out, her phone illuminating the dark room with a call from Kelley. She checks the time before she answers it. 8:10. She must've been asleep for a while.

 Kelley was meeting her date at seven though. Surely it couldn't be over already.

 "Hello."

 "Hey, Alex. Are you still at the cafe?" Alex can hear sadness in Kelley's voice, so she's already grabbing the keys and leaving. 

 "Yeah, I am. I fell asleep. What's up?"

 "I- uh, my date didn't show, and I forgot my key."

 "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm on my way now, give me five minutes."

 The Bean was only a short bike ride away from Alex and Kelley's shared apartment, so it wasn't long before Alex arrived, to find Kelley sitting on the doorstep.

 She quickly chains up her bike at the side of the building before helping Kelley to her feet. Her makeup's smudged where she's obviously been crying, but Alex pretends not to notice. They walk in silence to the door, and Kelley holds it together, even when they're within the confines of their home.

 "You okay, KO? Do you want anything?"

 "No, I'll be fine. It's not even a big deal. It's not like she promised she'd show. But she looked at me like- like she might, and I got all dressed up and I got my hopes up and then I sat in the fucking restaurant for an hour on my own before I left and I'm just pathetic." Alex doesn't know this girl, doesn't even know her name because Kelley didn't want to jinx it, but she's never disliked someone she didn't know so strongly before.

 "You aren't pathetic. None of this is your fault. And, by the way, you look beautiful in that dress." 

 Kelley manages a smile and a weak, "thanks, Lex."

 "Now, you sit right down there and don't you dare get changed because we're not going to waste that beautiful outfit."

 Alex can see the confusion on Kelley's face before she disappears into the kitchen. She can hear America's Next Top Model and she laughs because that's Kelley's heartbreak show, every time, without fail.

The macaroni cheese she retrieves from the fridge only takes a couple of minutes in the microwave, and Alex uses that time to change into something a little more date appropriate. She's giving Kelley that damn date even if it kills her.

The microwave beeps a second after Alex returns to the kitchen, dressed and ready, and she spoons it into two bowls before sticking her head into the living room.

"So, miss Kelley, I'm thinking dinner and a movie?"

Kelley's gazing at her like she's the second coming of Christ and to Alex it's worth more than anything else in the world right now.

"I fucking love you Alex Morgan."

"You shouldn't say I love you on the first date. It puts pressure on the other person and could lead to a strain in the relationship." Alex can barely hold a straight face while she says it.

Two hours later, They're both curled up on the sofa together, watching The Notebook. Kelley's eyes are drooping, Alex can tell, so she shuts off the tv.

"You should go to bed KO."

Kelley nods sleepily and stands, before pulling Alex to her feet and into a hug. "Thanks so much for tonight. You're the best. I'm not even joking."

The sincerity in her voice warms Alex's body and she drops a kiss to the top of her head.

"Sleep well, Kelley."

Kelley's only been gone a matter of minutes when her phone vibrates on the sofa beside Alex. It must have fallen out of her pocket. Out of instinct, Alex reads the text illuminating the screen.

_Sorry I couldn't make it tonight. Something came up. Hope_

Too little too late, she thinks. Not even a smiley face or an x or anything. Just an excuse. The name attached to the message catches her eye though. There's only one Hope that the two of them know. She turns up occasionally to play soccer with Kelley and Alex and a couple of their other friends on a Sunday afternoon, but it couldn't be. It's entirely possible that Kelley met another woman named Hope, that it isn't the same person she's thinking of right now, but it does explain why Kelley wouldn't tell her who she was meeting tonight.

_Kelley was going on a date with Hope Solo._

She deletes the message.


	2. Chapter 2

_And every minute feels  
_ _Just like the one before  
_ _No surprise, no twist  
_ _She wants so much more_

The next morning's a Saturday, so Alex wakes Kelley up as she's leaving to open the cafe. 

That's her duty, every day except Sunday she gets up at eight, cycles to the cafe and has it ready for it's first customers of the day by eight thirty. They're relatively quiet on a Saturday morning, so Alex lets Kelley sleep in and doesn't tell their boss. 

Alex is practically in charge anyway. She's got the most responsibility out of all the workers, and works the longest hours. She's one of only three (her, Kelley and a girl named Ali) who work there full time. 

Sometimes when she thinks about it she gets a little bitter that all the other staff are at college, paving their future, when all she can see is what's right in front of her. Sometimes she thinks about the degree she holds in political economy and scoffs, because look how far that's gotten her.

When she gets in one of those moods, she has to remember how hard it is to get a full time job, even one like hers, and she should be grateful that she's not jobless and homeless. (She should be even more grateful that her job introduced her to Kelley, because without her Alex would be undoubtably more lonely than she is.)

As she pours herself her first cup of coffee for the day, she hears the familiar chime of the door opening, and Kelley's there, all smiles and laughter, not even a sign that she got stood up last night.

_By Hope Solo_

Alex wants to confront her about it but she knows she can't without telling her about the text she deleted, so she leaves it.

"Sleep well?"

"Better than I expected. Thanks again for last night, Alex. You're the best." Kelley shoots her a bright smile before disappearing into the back to make herself a drink.

"No problem," She calls after her, although she doubts Kelley hears her.

Hope though. She hasn't been able to get it off her mind since last night. She doesn't even know why it's so shocking to her; it does explain Kelley's sudden desire to try playing back line on a Sunday afternoon, with Hope in goals right behind her.

It plays on her mind all morning, and Kelley notices. It's during their late afternoon break that she comments on it.

"Hey girl, you're quiet today. You alright?"

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just in my own world I guess." Alex's laugh is so fake anyone could call her on it. Kelley doesn't though.

Or at least Alex thinks she isn't going to when she disappears into the kitchen again, but she re-emerges a few minutes later holding two cinnamon lattes and plants herself at a seat opposite Alex.

She pushes one of the drinks forwards. "So what's really the matter?"

Alex hesitates just long enough that she sees Kelley's eyes glow in realisation, and she knows that Kelley's got her.

"I- uh, I did something I probably shouldn't have done and I think you're going to be mad at me."

"Alex, after last night, I'm not sure I could be mad."

"Okay, well, first off, you need to not say 'after last night'. It sounds like we had sex or something," Alex jokes. Kelley just winks and laughs before Alex continues, "and secondly," Alex falters, looking down at her hands. "yougotatextfromhopeandideletedit."

"What? Alex I have no idea what you just said." Alex looks up and looks her directly in the eye.

"After you went to bed last night, you got a text from Hope apologising for not making it and I deleted it and didn't tell you." Kelley's silent. "I didn't want you to get hurt, I thought it was the right thing to do. Please don't be mad at me KO."

"I'm not mad. I know you meant well, but you shouldn't have done it. What exactly did it say?" Alex knows the answer to this one off by heart.

"Sorry I couldn't make it tonight. Something came up. Hope."

"That's all?"

"That's all." Kelley sighs deeply, and Alex knows she was expecting something more. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You were just looking out for me. No biggie." 

"No, not for that- well, for that as well, but for Hope not turning up. She doesn't know what she's missing out on." Kelley looks up and smiles, as Alex reaches over and squeezes her hand across the table. "Are you going to text her?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know yet." Kelley's looking similar to the way she did last night sitting on the doorstep, and Alex hates that she's partly responsible.

"Hey, we don't have work tomorrow, how about I take you out and show you a real good time." Alex winks and hopes to god that it has the desired effect.

It does. Kelley laughs.

"Sure, we'll see if you can out last me this time."

"Oh you know I can. I have to get back to work now though, because unlike you I actually believe in working on the job."

"Shut up, I'll be out in five minutes."

Alex laughs and leaves the small staff area out the back of the cafe. They're relatively quiet, even more than usual, so when Ali approaches her and asks can she leave a little early because it's date night with her girlfriend, Ashlyn, Alex lets her go without a second thought. She's glad someone's love life is going well.

The lull in customers gives her time to reflect on her own, currently non-existent love life. She broke up with her high school sweetheart, Servando two months ago, after six years. He ended it, but they had both known it was coming for a while. Alex is fine, she's over it. It's just that there's been no one since, besides one or two drunk make out sessions cloaked in the safe darkness of the bar, where Alex doesn't need to confront anything. 

She's completely lost in her thoughts when the door chimes and brings her back to reality. A girl enters, but Alex doesn't pay much attention to her. She doesn't pay much attention, that is, until some time later when the girl hits her mug with her elbow, knocking it to the floor and smashing it, the contents soaking the floor.

Kelley's getting ready to leave when it happens, and Alex notices there's only five minutes until their official closing time, but they've never been strict with making sure people were gone. She's the only customer left in the building, so Alex tells Kelley just to go on home, she'll deal with it and see her later.

Kelley leaves, throwing a, "Don't forget about tonight!" over her shoulder. 

The customer and Alex are left standing there.

"I'm so sorry. This is so embarrassing. I shouldn't be allowed out in public." The woman laughs nervously.

"Hey, it's alright, it happens more than you'd expect." It doesn't, but Alex feels a strange urge to make this woman feel less guilty.

"Do you want me to help clean it up?"

"Do you mind? That would be great." Alex is already on her hands and knees picking up pieces of ceramic from the floor. There should be a cloth on the counter over there. She makes a motion with her head in the general direction, and the woman wanders off to find it. Alex stands to set the pieces of the mug on the table, and notices a well worn bible lying open, clearly what the woman was reading before she spilt her drink. A good portion of the the text is highlighted.

_So she's one of those girls._

It's not like Alex has a problem with _those girls_ , per se, it's just that they seem to have a problem with her best friend, and the fact that she dates girls instead of boys. Alex is nothing if not fiercely loyal, so if they have a problem with Kelley, by association they have a problem with her.

The customer returns with a cloth and hands it to Alex their fingers brushing together ever so slightly, making Alex's skin tingle just a little bit. The womanise hands are much warmer than hers, she can tell that even from the brief contact.

It doesn't take long to clean up the mess, and the woman apologises profusely three times before she leaves. Right as Alex is seeing her out the door she turns around and wraps her in a bone-crushing hug. Every nerve in Alex's body is prickling at the touch, and she gets goosebumps when she hears, "Thanks for not getting mad at me."

Then the woman's gone.

Alex doesn't understand what's happening to her. She's feeling goosebumps over a hug with a woman she just met.

She doesn't even know her name.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Kelley's sitting, phone in hand, waiting for Alex to get home. She wishes Alex would hurry up so that she could talk Kelley out of whatever text she might send Hope if she has to wait much longer. Hope's message is still ringing in her head.

_Sorry I couldn't make it tonight. Something came up. Hope_

She's typed out so many different replies she's lost count, and then chickened out before she could hit the send button.

 _I wish you'd showed, I wanted to see you_ was too desperate.

 _It's cool, don't worry about it_ was far too nonchalant and did no job of conveying how hurt Kelley actually was.

In the end, she types out one she's happy with, and tells herself if Alex isn't home within ten minutes, she's sending it. She ends up giving her fifteen, twenty, half an hour, until Alex still isn't back and Kelley finally hits 'send'.

_Never mind. I'll see you around._

Kelley's bitter, and she wants Hope to feel like she let her down in some way (she did let her down, she completely let her down) so she makes no attempt at friendliness. She's annoyed with Alex for not telling her, but at the same time she wishes she never found out.

Her phone buzzes less than a second later.

_Kelley, I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you tonight?_

_Sorry, I'm going out w/ Alex_

_Tomorrow?_

_Maybe. I'll let you know_

It's not desperate, not needy, not any of the things Kelley's really been feeling around Hope recently, and she's proud of herself. She's proud of herself over three fucking text messages.

Damn. Hope's got her good.

She tells Alex about it straight away when she gets home.

"I texted Hope." Alex is immediately focused, not distant like she was mere seconds ago.

"How'd that go?"

"She wanted to make it up to me. She asked me out again tonight." Alex looks at her expectantly. "I said no. I told her we were going out. She asked about tomorrow as well." Alex cocks an eyebrow. "I said maybe." A maybe's not a yes.

"So you guys are okay?"

"Maybe. I don't know. We'll see."

"Kell, are you still annoyed that I didn't tell you? Because I wouldn't blame you if you were." Kelley looks down at her hands and sighs heavily, shaking her head.

"No, I'm not. I'm mad at her for still not explaining why she stood me up. You were a far better date." She finally smiles, and stands to leave the room. "I'm going to go get ready for tonight." She's halfway down the hallway when she turns and sticks her head back into the room. "For the record, you'd make a great girlfriend. If you ever feel like switching teams…" Kelley trails off with a wink, and laughs as she walks off.

~

_If you ever feel like switching teams…_

Alex knows it's a joke, and she knows for a fact that Kelley's not into her (they've had that discussion, right around the time Kelley first came out to her, and Kelley told her she had surprised herself by not falling in love with Alex) but she can't keep her mind off the mysterious coffee shop woman.

She thinks if she can get Kelley drunk enough tonight she can ask her opinion on the situation without Kelley remembering it in the morning.

Not that there's much of a situation. Alex is probably never going to see this woman again, after how embarrassed she got when she broke the cup (Alex knows she would never return if the roles were reversed) and she didn't even get her name, so no big deal, right?

Yeah, right.

 

They go out that night, and Alex and Kelley dance close.

It's close enough that, with the height difference, Kelley can pretend Alex is Hope. Alex can close her eyes and get lost in the dancing and try to forget about the feeling plaguing her all day, like she has something caught in her throat, but no matter how hard she coughs it just stays there. She finds it more difficult than she would like to admit.

In the back of her mind Alex notices that Kelley isn't drinking, but she's beyond critical thinking already, so she lets it go. Sometime around midnight, Kelley leans up to suggest to Alex that they leave, and Alex pulls her by the wrist out the door. Alex is falling all over the place by the time they make it home (They deliberately chose a bar within walking distance) and she trips on the stairs into the apartment.

“Shit, my ankle.”

“You okay, Lex?” Kelley's not

“Yeah I think so. Help me up.” Kelley pulls Alex to her feet and helps her to limp the rest of the way upstairs, until they're inside their apartment.

“Sit down Alex, I'll get you some ice.” Alex lies down along the couch, ignoring the twinge in her ankle whenever she moves it.

“KO, why aren't you drunk?” Alex shouts into the kitchen where Kelley's gone.

“Because I know you, babyhorse, and I know that drunk you needs a sober companion.” Kelley returns with a glass of water and a bag of ice, “Plus, I can tell there's something bothering you, and sober me gives much better advice.”

“There's nothing bothering me.”

“Alex.”

“It doesn't matter, it's nothing.”

“Okay, fine. Do you want me to sit here for a bit with you?” Alex just shrugs, but Kelley sits down on the arm of the chair by Alex's head anyway. They're silent for a beat, before Kelley speaks again. “I saw Hope at the bar. That's why I wanted to leave. She really gets to me, you know?” Alex knows exactly what's happening, exactly what Kelley's trying to do. She thinks that by telling Alex everything, she'll hear about her problems in return. “She gave me her number a couple of weeks ago, when we were playing soccer together, but I was the one who suggested dinner. She seemed up for it at the time. I guess she's not just a good goalkeeper with a pretty face. She's a hell of an actress too.” Okay, so Kelley's technique worked.

“The woman at the cafe earlier. You know, the one who knocked over her drink as you were leaving. She hugged me after I cleaned it up, and I felt something. I don't know how to explain it.” A sly smile crosses Kelley's face.

“Alex Morgan. Feeling things over a mysterious lady in a coffeeshop. I never thought I'd see the day.”

“Shut up,” Alex moans, but she's laughing, and Kelley's laughing too, and this is no different than how their relationship works. They don't make a big deal out of problems that can be laughed off and it hasn't hurt them yet. Alex is fighting back sleep now, but Kelley's kneeling beside her now, and she gently smooths down her hair and kisses her forehead. Alex is gone within seconds.

~

Alex's breathing evens out, and Kelley adjusts the ice on her ankle, before finding a blanket to drape over the body on the couch.

So Alex is having strange feelings over a woman neither of them know. It's intriguing and kind of hilarious to Kelley, although she's a little offended it wasn't her who triggered Alex's inner lesbianism. Although, it's not really lesbianism, because girls can have little crushes on girls and it doesn't even matter. It's just Alex has always been straight as a pole and of all the things she could have confessed to Kelley tonight, this was not one that crossed her mind. She's not really offended either, because she loves Alex too dearly as a friend and an ally to think anything romantic would ever come between them. There was a time, back when they had both started working at The Bean within two months of each other, when they first became friends, that Kelley might have had a crush on Alex. It was never legitimate, more of a _you're really beautiful and you would make a great girlfriend_ , kind of feeling, but never with any romantic feelings attached to it.

She totally gets it though, how confusing feeling something for another girl can be when you've liked boys your whole life. She still remembers the girl who helped her realise everything she is. Heather Mitts, daughter of a friend of her father, a full ten years older than Kelley. She was tall and blonde and strikingly beautiful, and twelve year old Kelley couldn't keep her eyes off her. It was the kind of crush that never really consumes you, but also never really leaves you, even if it's completely hopeless.There's been plenty since then, most recently Hope, so Kelley's certain it wasn't just a one time thing.

Unfortunately, Alex has none of this certainty. Kelley feels sorry for her, but they can talk in the morning, when Alex is sober and will actually take in Kelley's advice.

That is, if Alex even remembers any of this in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex doesn’t remember all of it in the morning. The remembering comes much later. Just waking up is a hard enough task on it’s own.

She wakes up in the same place she fell asleep on the couch, the bag of ice on her ankle melted, but the pain almost completely gone. Sadly, that wasn’t true for all of her. There’s a pounding in her head, the unmistakeable reminder of how much she’d drunk the night before. When she tries to sit up, the room spins around her and she has to lie back down and squeeze her eyes shut until the nauseating feeling passes.

She’s sitting there, with the heels of her hands pressed into her eyes, when she hears the familiar pad of Kelley’s sock clad feel approaching her and she knows all too well what’s coming.

“Rise and shine, beautiful!” Kelley’s far too chipper for this time in the morning, but then she looks at the clock on the wall and it’s ten minutes until midday, so it’s not really the morning anymore. “I brought you coffee and the love of your best friend in the whole world to cure your hangover.” Kelley punctuates the sentence with a kiss on Alex’s cheek and sets the mug containing Alex’s coffee on the table beside her.

It takes two cups of coffee and a half hour shower before Alex feels even slightly more alive. She reappears in the living room in just a towel to find Kelley cross-legged on the couch, watching a rerun of America’s Next Top Model.

“Hey Kell, I think I’m going to have to pass on soccer today.”

Kelley doesn’t glance away from the tv. “Because of your hangover? Man up, Morgan.” Her voice softens, “Besides, I need you there today. I can’t go on my own.”

Alex doesn’t know what she talking about but then she remembers Hope and she remembers just how hurt Kelley got and she knows that she still needs to be there for Kelley, no matter how bad the pain in her head. No matter how many times Kelley says it doesn’t matter, Alex still feels bad about deleting the text message, and she still feels like she needs to make it up to her. So she agrees to go.

They play once a week, almost every week, on a Sunday afternoon. It’s nothing serious, but the same group of girls turn up each time. They used to play five a side, but then a couple of them brought soccer playing friends along, until it just became a matter of  _split the group in half, play wherever you like._ It shouldn’t work, it should be absolute chaos, but somehow they manage.

Living almost in the centre of the town gives Alex and Kelley a huge advantage when it comes to getting places. Everywhere’s within a thirty minute walking distance. The park they play soccer in, is fifteen minutes away, so Kelley wastes no time in reminding Alex exactly what happened the night before.

“So…The woman in the cafe?” Alex’s face pales. She considers trying to lie about it but she knows she’s already given the game away

“I- I told you about that?”

“Well shit Lex, you were completely gone last night weren’t you? Yes, you told me about that.”

“Oh. What did I say?”

“That a mysterious lady came into the coffeeshop and even though she spilt her drink everywhere she still gave you tingles in your lady loins.” Alex’s face has gone from deathly white to beetroot red, but Kelley clarifies, “In fewer words. I paraphrased.” That makes more sense. Alex is still silent so Kelley goes on. “It’s okay Alex, it’s not a big deal.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Nah, I’ve fancied boys before, doesn’t mean any of them are getting anywhere near all of this,” Kelley gestures down her body. “Don’t worry, one interaction can’t redefine you. It’s just a tiny case of gay panic. Happens to us all at some stage. Only, for some of us it’s legit.”

“Okay. Yes, you’re right. I’m good, great even. I’ll probably never see her again, it’s fine.”

That was that then.

“Did Hope ever text you back?” Kelley only shook her head despondently. “So you don’t know for certain she’s going to be here today?”

“Do I ever know for certain if she’s going to be there?”

“I guess not.” They walk in silence for a minute before Alex speaks again, “Well, you know I’ve got your back.” Alex swings her arm to the side so her elbow knocks with Kelley’s.

“Damn right you do.” Kelley shoots her a blinding smile and grabs her arm, sliding her hand down it and interlocking their fingers like it’s the most natural thing in the world. They walk the rest of the way to the park like that.

~

It’s only a couple more minutes until they’re passing through the gates into the park. It’s a huge grassy area, with a soccer pitch at one end. Theres a group of girls there already, but not nearly as many as usually turn up these days.

Kelley’s eyes scan the field in a seconds, picking out faces from the group. No Hope yet. There’s a part of her doesn’t want Hope to show at all, so she can avoid any awkward interaction they might have, so she can forget what happened on Friday night. There’s a bigger part though, that wants Hope to see her, to see that she’s fine, and that it didn’t mean anything to her. That she doesn’t care about being stood up.

(Of course she cares.)

She gets her wish, when she’s stretching and a tall, lean figure hops out of a car that’s just pulled into the parking lot. Hope looks directly at her, and offers a small smile, but Kelley doesn’t react. She just turns to the nearest person and strikes up a conversation.

The person she turns to, just happens to be Kristie Mewis. She’s just a couple of years younger than Kelley, and besides friendly communication on the field, within the confines of the game, the two have never really spoken.

“Hey Mewis.” The younger girl looks surprised, but she goes with it, much to Kelley’s releif.

“What’s up, O’Hara?”

“The usual, you know? Pretty uneventful week. What about you?”

And so it began. Kelley was surprised at how easy Kristie was to talk to, at how well they got along. They talked for the full fifteen minutes until the game started, and even as it’s played, Kristie catches her eye more than once.  _She’s incredibly beautiful,_  Kelley realises, and wonders how she’s never noticed it before.

Maybe because she was too busy being distracted by the lone woman in the goal behind her.

Speaking of whom, after smiling at Kelley when she first arrived, Hope has made no effort to interact with her. Kelley’s holding out, so as not to look desperate, but Hope isn’t rising to the challenge. Kelley thinks she at least deserves an explanation, but damned if she’s going to ask for it.

She doesn’t get an explanation at all, and Hope’s gone within ten minutes of their game ending. Kelley’s expecting an afternoon at home, sulking and watching America’s Next Top Model reruns, so she’s surprised when she feels a light tap on her shoulder, and turns around to Kristie standing there.

“Hey, Kelley, are you busy now?” Kristie’s clearly nervous, and Kelley finds it endearing, so much so that it takes a moment to register that Kristie asked her a question, and she hasn’t answered it yet.

“Not at all.”

“Do you want to grab something to eat?”

“Yeah, that’d be cool. Let me just tell Alex.” She jogs over to where Alex is talking to Lauren. “Hey, Lex, I’m going to get some food with Mewis, I’ll see you later.”

Alex nods and smiles, but Kelley’s gone before she can actually speak.

…

They end up in a Taco Bell a few blocks away, sat opposite each other in a booth by the window.

Kelley’s happily chewing her burrito when Kristie clears her throat a little, clearly about to speak, “Hey Kelley, you’re gay right?”

It’s not what Kelley expected and she almost chokes on her food with surprise. She manages to retain most of her dignity and nods. “Yeah, why?”

“I just- I think I am too. Well, I know I am, but I haven’t told anybody yet. And I was just wondering, how can you tell if another girl is?”

Kelley understands, suddenly, why Kristie was so nervous to begin with. She’s basically just come out to Kelley. It warms her heart a lot.

“Well, that depends. Is it someone I know? Because my gaydar is fantastic.”

“Did you know about me then?” Kelley notices she’s avoided the question.

“Minor blip. So who is it?” Kristie plays with the straw in her drink and gazes out the window before mumbling something unintelligible. “What?”

She still doesn’t look at Kelley. before she speaks again. “Sydney.” Sydney. She’s only been coming to play soccer with them for a couple of weeks now and it dawns on Kelley that she knows Syndey as well as she knew Kristie before today; that is, not at all.

“I’m afraid I can’t help with that one then. Thanks for telling me though. Thanks for trusting me.”

Kristie finally looks up to meet Kelley’s intent gaze and smiles. “Thanks for being cool with it. Not that you wouldn’t be, it’s just- it’s scary, you know?”

“Yeah I know. Been there, done that, got the shirt. I wouldn’t want to do it again.” They’ve crossed a real bridge today. “You know if you need to talk to someone about it you can talk to me.”

“Thanks, Kelley.”

~

Alex is lying on the sofa reading when there’s a knock on the door. She answers it to Kelley standing with a sheepish grin and a shrug.

“I forgot my keys.”

“How was your lunch?”

“It was good. Mewis is pretty cool.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Alex has a funny feeling Kelley’s hiding something.

“So nothing exciting happen?” Kelley turns around and gives her a pointed stare.

“Alex, I’m not supposed to tell anyone. How on earth can you even tell?”

“Does best friends forever and ever mean nothing to you? I know you better than I know myself sometimes.”

Kelley sighs deeply before she speaks, and Alex can tell she feels bad saying it. “She was asking my advice on girl issues. Like, lesbian issues.”

“Mewis is gay?” Kelley sighs.

“Yeah, but I’m the only person she’s told. She needed to talk to someone about it. So you don’t breathe a word of this to anyone, okay?”

“Got it. Wow, that’s not what I expected.”

“Yeah, me either. It’s not a big deal though.”

It’s not a big deal for some people, Alex thinks. She doesn’t care whether someone’s gay or not, but when it comes to her own sexuality, she’s always been set in her ways. That’s why something as tiny as her little hug with the mystery woman has been playing on her mind constantly.

She’s trying to chalk it up to not having seen any real action since she broke up with Servando, but deep deep down she knows that isn’t true. She’s made out with some guys in the dark of a bar more than once but then she leaves before they can get her name, let alone her number.

_Why won’t this leave her alone?_

Kelley’s gone into the kitchen and reappears five minutes later with two mugs in her hand, passing one to Alex, who’s outstretched on the sofa, reading again. She lifts Alex’s feet before sitting down and lying them across her lap. Within a minute America’s Next Top Model is on again, and Alex realises just how domestic the pair of them are. It hits her all of a sudden just how grateful she is to have Kelley in her life; someone who’ll love her unconditionally and make her coffee with just the right amount of sugar in it.

She’d make the best girlfriend.

“I’m glad we’re friends, KO.”

Kelley turns away from the tv she had been watching intently a second before with a smile so bright it could damage Alex’s eyes.

“Me too, Lex. Me too.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Work first thing on a Monday morning is Alex's least favourite thing. In the world. 

There's the usual rush- if you can call ten people a rush- at nine o'clock, but then they may as well close until lunch. Alex is sitting on a stool behind the counter, at the time when the people who stop by on their way to work have stopped coming, and the ones taking a mid-morning break haven't arrived yet. The only customers the get at this time are those who don't work nine-to-five jobs, which turns out to be very few people. Kelley emerges from the break room as Alex is getting up to find her and complain about how bored she is. Kelley hums an agreement and sets to making herself a coffee. Alex wanders back into the break room and collapses on one of the sofas.

Nothing could make her enjoy working on a Monday morning. Nothing at all, except-

Kelley's leaning in the door, a sly smile on her face. “Your friend is back.”

It takes her a minute to understand what she's talking about, but Kelley wastes no time in clarifying, “you know, your _friend_.” Alex's eyebrows shoot up in realisation. 

She tries to act unaffected, throwing out a casual, “oh, really?” but Kelley has lived with her for a long time now, and she knows her. 

“Don't even try, Alex, you're bright red right now. Anyway, I can tell you some things.”

She figures she doesn't have to hide from Kelley. “Like what?”

“Her name's Tobin, she's twenty four. She's single. Likes soccer.” 

“Kelley, how in God's name did you find out that?”

“Might want to take that back too. She seems to care a lot about that stuff. I don't think she'd like you taking the Lord's name in vain.”

She still has no idea how Kelley found out anything she did, but she's got her name at the very least. And she's in the next room.

_Holy crap she's in the next room._

“Have you given her her drink yet?”

“Nope, that's what you're going to do. Gotta get to know your future wife, and what better way to start than bringing her coffee. A cinnamon latte, to be precise.”

Alex shakes her head, “I should never have told you any of this.” but she's already walking out the door. Kelley gives her a pat on the bum for encouragement as she goes.

True enough, she's sitting by the window, in the same seat as last time, bible in hand. Cinnamon latte. That's what Alex has to make. So she does. The cafe is still almost empty, with only the woman – Tobin – and a couple sitting at another table. Her heart's speeding up as she finishes making the drink, and it's stupid, she's just giving someone a latte, but it's having an embarrassing effect on her all the same.

Gay panic, she tells herself, that's all this is. She'll get over it.

She hands the drink to Tobin, who meets her eye with an easy smile and says, “I'll try not to spill it this time.”

_It's a joke, Alex. Laugh._

She manages something akin to a laugh, but anybody who knew her at all would have been able to tell it was forced. She wipes her hands down on her pants to try and stop them sweating, but it's useless, so she mumbles a quick, “Enjoy your drink. Let me know if you need anything.” before walking off. Kelley comes back into the main area of the coffee shop when Alex is standing behind the counter, staring at Tobin's head.

“Did you get her number yet?” she whispers.

“No.”

“Did you at least speak to her?”

“Yes.|

“What did you say?” Alex relays the conversation. Kelley shakes her head in despair. “Alex, I love you, but you're useless sometimes.” Before Alex can say another word, Kelley's at Tobin's table, sitting down opposite her talking away. Tobin glances back over her shoulder to Alex and it becomes painfully clear what they're talking about. Alex busies herself rearranging things on the counter to try and avoid the awkward eye contact, but she does see Tobin scribble something on a napkin and slide it across the table to Kelley. Kelley's back within a minute, right as Ali comes out of the back room, so she grabs Alex and tells Ali, “We'll be back in a minute,” before dragging her into their break room. She waves the napkin triumphantly under her nose. “See? Not as scary as you thought.”

“She gave you her number?” Alex grabs at the napkin where it's clear a number has been scribbled hastily across it.

“Yes! Well, she gave me her number to give to _you_.” Alex is stunned into silence. “Also, I invited her to come play soccer with us on Sunday. She said yes.” Alex still hasn't spoken and Kelley begins to think she's done the wrong thing. “Alex?”

“I'm not gay, Kell.” There it is. The one downfall in her grand plan. She pulls Alex over to the sofas and sits her down.

“I know you're straight, or at lest identify that way, but sexuality isn't black and white Alex. Do you think Tobin is attractive?” A barely-there nod. “Do you think you could date Tobin if she were a man.” Another nod, more confident this time. “Then it doesn't matter at all. It's really not that different. Besides, this mightn't even go anywhere, and your worrying would be for nothing.” Alex still looks helpless. “Just give her a call later. What's the worst that could happen?”

Alex gives her a look that means every bad thing that could come of it has entered her head, and Kelley sighs. “Come on, Alex. When was the last time you dated anybody?” She mumbles something that sounds faintly like 'Servando' and it's all the answer Kelley needs. “Just text her, even, if you really don't want to call her.”

Alex is convinced. “Nice that you're taking such an interest in my love life.”

“Well, rather yours than mine.” It's a loaded statement, one filled with undercurrents of _Hope_ , but Kelley's gone before she can acknowledge it. Alex follows.

Tobin's still at the table, empty mug forgotten as she's leafing through the book in her hand. It's a bible, Alex notes on closer inspection. She's still a little shocked that this girl, who apparently belongs to the group that hates some people for who they love, has given her her number. Well, given Kelley her number to pass on, but the principle's still the same.

She sits on for hours, ordering the same drink again from Kelley, and Alex steals glances at her constantly. She doesn't realise just how late it is until Tobin's the only customer left and Ali and Kelley are walking out the door together, Kelley throwing a, “See you when you get home,” behind her.

Then it's just Alex and Tobin, this woman who she's spoken to once, and the air around her seems to be getting thinner and she can't get enough of it in her lungs. She takes a few minutes to calm down before approaching Tobin.

“Hey, you finished with your drink?” She gets a nod in response, before Tobin looks up at her. When she does, her face breaks into a smile

“I didn't spill it this time.”

“Good job.” Alex doesn't know how else to continue the conversation, so she carries the mug away. Tobin stands up to leave, but she seems to change her mind for a second, before wandering over to the counter where Alex is.

“Your friend, Kelley is it? She invited me to play soccer on Sunday. Do you play?”

“Yeah, I do. I'll be there.”

“Cool. See you then.” Tobin flashes her another smile, and it's a sight Alex is really starting to like, before she turns and saunters out onto the street. Alex doesn't look away from the space where she stood until long after the echo of the door closing is gone from the cafe.

She's in too deep already and she doesn't know what to do.

~

She presents this problem to Kelley while they're watching tv later that night. They're sitting on either end of the couch, Kelley with her legs tucked under her, Alex with hers stretched out, sock-clad feet tickling Kelley's thighs.

“I like Tobin.”

“Yeah, you told me.” A frustrated sigh from Alex.

“No, I mean, I actually like her. I thought it was just a crush before, but now I just want to hang out with her and get to know her and-”

“Make out with her?” That earns her a slap on the arm. “I don't need your abuse, Morgan. I'm just saying what you're thinking.”

“You're so annoying. I don't know why I live with you. I don't even know why I like you.”

Kelley reaches out and pokes her knee. “But you do like me, so it doesn't matter.” Alex is silent. “Alex, say you like me.” She runs a finger along Alex's foot, right where she's ticklish. “Alex.” Alex jerks one foot away but Kelley keeps a hold on the other and laughs as Alex struggles to escape. Alex laughs too, so it's not all bad.

“Fine! Kelley, I give! Stop!” Alex waits until their laughter subsides before saying, “I do like you.”

“That's all I was asking for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lalalalala I don't know how to write more than one scene of substance in a week lalalalala


	6. Chapter 6

The problem, Kelley thinks, is that Alex has gotten too comfortable. Too comfortable with work, and routine, and living in the same place, that she's forgotten her dreams. She'd revealed them one night, right back when they first met, even before Kelley had come out to her. As a kid she'd wanted to play soccer for a living. She wanted to go far away from home and do what she loved. Life got in the way, she'd done what was expected of her. Gone to university, got a job that kept her on her feet, and somewhere in the middle, playing soccer was almost forgotten about. It breaks Kelley's heart. 

She sees the wistful look in Alex's eyes sometimes, when they're kicking a ball around, or playing a game, and she knows the dream's still there. She doesn't know how to help it out.

So she settles for being the best friend she can, even when Alex gets angry. Especially when Alex gets angry, because she knows that's when she's needed most. It means that Alex has had a night without sleep, running over what could have been if she'd just got out, and it usually means Kelley being woken by the vacuum early in the morning (Alex always seems to compulsively clean when she's upset), earlier than she needs to be up. 

She stumbles out of her bedroom, and Alex at least has the grace to look slightly guilty as she turns the vacuum off.

“Alex, it's six in the morning. What the hell are you doing?”

“The house was dirty.”

“Alex,” Kelley warns. Alex turns to face her.

“It's Tobin, okay?” Well. This is new.

“Tobin?”

“I texted her last night and asked if she wanted to go out sometime, and she didn't reply.” Kelley knew those two were going somewhere. It had been three months since Tobin had given Alex her number (or, given Kelley her number because Alex refused to go after what she clearly wanted) and Tobin had come to play soccer with them and Kelley had made herself scarce because she did not want caught up in the middle of their sexual tension. That neither of them would admit. Until now, apparently. Kelley's not even worried about Alex putting herself out there, because she' known Tobin for less than a month, and she can already read her like a book. Well, parts of her. The parts of her that can't keep her eyes off Alex when they're together, and that blush anytime Alex laughs at her jokes. They've hung out a lot since the first meeting, usually the three of them, sometimes Kristie or Lauren or Amy would join them, but either way Kelley's spent a lot of time around Alex and Tobin, and she see's how things are between them.

Like when Tobin comes into the cafe (its a regular occurrence now) and Alex giggles and twirls her ponytail and acts like she's in high school, as opposed to graduated from college. It would be annoying, except it distracts her from thinking about Hope, and everything that isn't happening there.

“What time did you text her at?”

“About one am.” Alex replies sheepishly, which earns her a slap on the arm. 

“Alex, any normal person would be asleep between the hours of one and six in the morning. She probably hasn't seen the text yet. You woke me at this time of the morning for no reason at all.” It's situations like this that remind Kelley how grateful she is that she's sharing a house with her best friend, and not just a casual acquaintance, because she would probably kill anybody else for this. 

She can't even get angry at Alex, especially when she says, “Would pancakes make it up to you?” 

All she can do is nod and laugh and pull Alex into a hug, then whisper in her ear, “You'll be okay. Tobin's going to say yes. She likes you.” 

Alex doesn't want to start and argument, so she shakes her head against Kelley's shoulder and breathes against her neck, “You don't know that,” but pulls back with a smile to match Kelley's.

“Of course she does. How could she not?” a moment of silence, the air brimming with unasked questions, then, “Now how about those pancakes?”

~

Tobin, as it turns out, does text back. Right after eight thirty, (which would make sense, because she probably just woke up) as Alex is sitting alone in the cafe, besides a couple in the corner that would normally make her feel ill with how lovey-dovey they are with each other, but she doesn't even notice them. The thought that Tobin replied as soon as she woke up warms Alex's stomach in a way she hadn't expected. The fact that she's replied with ' _You free tonight? I know a nice place'_ causes a hot flush to creep through Alex's body, and suddenly she's glad she's almost alone, because she's nearly certain it shows. She replies 'tonight sounds great' immediately. Her eyes don't leave her phone, waiting for a time or a place or anything from Tobin, when an all too familiar voice infiltrates her musings.

“So I'll pick you up at six?” Alex's head whips up so fast she hurts her neck, and Tobin's leaning on the counter, raising her eyebrows with that smile on her face, like she's found the secret to happiness. It's infectious, and right away Alex is smiling too, and she doesn't remember being this happy to see someone since Servando.

“Sounds great. Where are we going?”

“You like Italian food?” Alex nods. “There's a cute little place near where I live.” There's confidence in Tobin's voice but there's doubt in her eyes, like this isn't a regular occurrence for her. Like she doesn't take girls out for dinner often. It makes Alex feel special.

“I can't wait. Do you want a drink?”

“Nah,” Tobin breaks eye contact for the first time in the conversation and leans back off the counter. “I'm going to visit my mom on the other side of town for the afternoon. I just thought I'd drop by on my way.” If Alex didn't feel like she was about to physically burst from their interaction before, she definitely did now.

Neither the blush nor the smile have left her face fifteen minutes later when Kelley comes breezing through the door.

“What's got you looking all smug? Could it be a date with the mysterious Tobin Heath?” Kelley leans forward onto the counter, unknowingly mirroring Tobin's position from before.

“Shut up asshole. Don't even say it.”

“That I was right? Because I was. And you know it.” Kelley laughs and Alex pokes her with the pen she's been absentmindedly playing with. 

~

The day drags on, but Alex expected no less. It's a Friday, which usually means they're at least a little bit busy, but it's springtime, and it's getting warmer outside, and nobody has much time for hot drinks, so they don't see much business. She considers locking up early, but then she'll be at home with nothing to do except stress about what's going to happen. She's antsy though, and by four o'clock she's given up on staying in an empty coffeeshop alone. 

There's something off as soon as she steps in the door of the apartment. It's clean. It could be because she hoovered at an unreasonable hour this morning, but it's definitely cleaner than when she left this morning. It smells fresher too. Kelley has cleaned. Alex wanders into the kitchen where she finds Kelley, furiously scrubbing at the cooker.

“Who are you and what have you done with my roommate?” Kelley jumps a little, and straightens up, forcing a laugh.

“Hope's coming over tonight. To talk. I forgot. She texted an hour ago to ask if it was still going ahead.” Oh. That makes sense. 

“Well, I'll be out tonight anyway so if you want me to crash at someone else's to give you your space,” she winks exaggeratedly, “then that's no problem.”

“Alex I don't have time for your jokes,” Kelley says, but her eyes are still smiling, “she want to talk about something. It probably won't take long.”

“So you're cleaning the house why?” She gets a pointed glare for that, but Kelley blushes refuses to answer. 

~

Tobin arrives right on six o'clock, and Alex opens the door to find her standing, hands shoved deep in the pockets of her jeans, shuffling nervously on the doormat. Alex turns and shouts back into the house, “See you later, Kelley.” She gets nothing but a grunt in response.

Tobin doesn't take her hand as they walk, despite Alex begging her to internally. Alex doesn't reach out either, because she's reached far enough. She was the one prompted the date, so it's Tobin's turn to move things on.

And move things on she does. She pays for Alex's meal and already she's swept off her feet (as if she wasn't already). 

As they're leaving, Tobin says, “There's a place I want to show you,” and Alex can do nothing but follow her. The evening's cool around them, though not cold yet, but Tobin's hand brushes against the back of hers, and that warms her up enough. She's distracted, by Tobin and the easy conversation that flows between them, nothing heavy, nothing of real substance, so she doesn't notice that Tobin's stopped, until she's walked on ahead.

“This used to be my favourite place.” Alex turns around, but doesn't interrupt. They're in a park, one that she's never been in before, which is surprising, because they aren't far from her house. “My old girlfriend used to take me here all the time.” Tobin laughs, but there's a bitterness to the words that follow that Alex has never heard before, “She broke up with me right over there.” Alex follows Tobin's line of sight to a bench that has yet to be obscured by shade. “I'm really glad you asked me out tonight. I wanted to bring you here because-” Tobin reaches for Alex's hand, strokes her thumb over it to try and make eye contact, “because I wanted to make it a good place for me again.”

Her smile crinkles the corners of her eyes, or maybe she's just squinting against the sunset, but either way the sky has turned a colour she could never really describe and Tobin's shifted things between them in a way she doesn't fully comprehend. What she does comprehend is that Tobin's eyes are the same colour as the dirt on the ground beneath them, now that Alex is close enough to see, but they're sparkling in a way the dirt never could, until they close, and then Alex doesn't care. Tobin's hands are on her cheeks and Tobin's lips are on her lips and she swears she's actually buzzing. And then she is actually buzzing, but even a phonecall, no matter how urgent, is going to stop this kiss before Alex wants it to. She lets it ring off.

It feels like hours later when they pull apart, and Tobin walks her back home, not letting go of her hand the whole way. She kisses her once more on the doorstep, thanks her for the night, and goes inside. She watches through the tiny window by the door as Tobin fist pumps, oblivious to the fact that Alex can see.

“Alex?” Kelley's voice squeaks a little, like she's been crying, and the look on her face tells Alex that she's not done for the night.

She opens her arms just in time for Kelley to collapse into them, sobbing. She's mumbling something against Alex's chest over and over, and it takes some time before Alex can decipher them as, “She's getting married.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a rare disease that means i can't write chapters longer than 2000 words ever like i said it's very rare, no known cure yet

7.

What Alex gets out of Kelley, (eventually, after an hour of just holding Kelley, trying her best not to push her, but simultaneously wanting to know exactly why she’s going to have to kill someone for getting Kelley in this state) is that Hope was never looking for something between them in the way that Kelley was. Now she’s engaged to a man and Kelley’s a mess in the living room.  
All she can do is rock her gently, whispering “it’ll be okay,” over and over, in the hopes that Kelley will believe it. Then, once Kelley’s head begins to droop against her shoulder, and her breathing evens out, she can carry her upstairs and tuck her into bed with a solid kiss on the forehead.   
~  
Alex doesn’t see it, but Kelley’s eyes open as soon as her back is turned, and follow her out the door. Alex doesn’t know that Kelley’s gaze doesn’t waver from the doorway until she drifts into unconsciousness.

~

Tobin and Alex, Kelley thinks, are adorable. Sickeningly so, at times. When the three of them are hanging out at Alex and Kelley's house, more than once Kelley's had to leave the room because they're acting so much like a couple it's hurting her stomach. Even on the rare occasions where she manages to squeeze herself in between them, in an attempt to stop the PDA, the looks that pass between them, as though Kelley isn't there, are enough to warrant an eyeroll and a loud sigh from her. Kelley can hardly focus on the movie so she makes up some excuse about skyping an old college friend and leaves them to it. 

As much as Kelley loves Alex, and as happy as she is that Alex is happy, there's only so many public displays of affection she can take (not that they're particularly affectionate in public, in fact, if you didn't know them or their situation, you could probably mistake them for friends. Friends who sit unnecessarily close and can't take their eyes off of each other.)

That's why, one Sunday when she's invited to join them for food after soccer, she politely declines and drifts over to Kristie instead. 

“Hey Mewie,” Kristie's head jerks up from where she's unlacing her cleats at the noise, and her face softens into a smile when she sees who's speaking to her.

“Whats up?”They haven’t spoken much, save for a greeting here and there, since their lunch date all that time ago. Kelley figures this is as good a time as any to talk again.  
“You want to go get something to eat?” Kristie’s smile lights up her face like always, and Kelley can’t stop herself from smiling back.  
“Sure, just let me grab my stuff.”

As chance (or Kristie's love of Mexican food) would have it, they end up in the same booth, in the same Taco Bell as the last time. Kelley comments on this, and Kristie laughs, spraying a few crumbs at Kelley, then ducking her head in embarrassment.

Still, there's something hanging in the air between them. Unspoken developments on their conversation from the last time that neither one wants to bring up first. Anyway, it's not like there's a turn in conversation where it would be appropriate to ask about Sydney, so Kelley leaves it be. At least until Kristie's phone buzzes on the table, and upside down Kelley can read who the text is from. _Syd <3_. Her chance comes, and she doesn't even need to say anything, just quirk an eyebrow at Kristie's grin until she sighs and talks.

“Nothing's happened. We're just friends. I still haven't told anybody I'm into girls.” The smile is gone from her face and Kelley kind of feels bad for being the reason behind that.

“That's okay, just take your time. It took me two years before I was comfortable enough to come out.” Kristie nods, but lets a comfortable silence fall over them. 

The conversation resumes, light and easy, until they get up to leave. At the door they'll be parting ways, but right before they do, Kristie pulls Kelley into a long hug, mumbling, “Thank you so much,” into her shoulder.

Kelley hasn't felt needed in this way in a while.

Not since Tobin came along, (Kelley loves Tobin, don't get her wrong) and suddenly Kelley isn't Alex's go-to friend anymore. They talk—of course they talk, they live together—but Kelley's seeing less of Alex than she used to, and it's making her more upset than she has a right to be.

She's glad Alex is happy. She's always happy that Alex is happy, but she just needs someone to talk to, about Hope, about everything, and Alex is just kind of busy these days. Kristie's a good friend, but Kelley needs her best friend right now.

~

Her time comes, the next weekend, when Tobin tells Alex that she's going to visit family in New Jersey for a few days. Alex comes home from work half an hour after Kelley does, and delivers the news.

“Tobin's going to Jersey for a bit, so I am one hundred percent free tonight. Do you have any plans?”

“I have Pitch Perfect and enough snacks to feed three people, if that counts as plans.”

“Mind if I join you?” Best friend time is exactly what Kelley needs right now.

“Not at all.”

~

Having a girlfriend is different than having a boyfriend, which surprised Alex at first. She's expected most of the same things except with less manly stuff, but that is not the case. Girls (Tobin in particular, seeing as she's the only one she's ever dated) are softer than boys, and gentler, and know exactly what girls like. Tobin does at least; Alex isn't her first girlfriend. 

~

“I dated a girl in high school, Christen, and stayed with her right through to college. Then her parents found out, and split us up.”

“Why?”

“They were religious people, no more than me and my family, but they couldn't see past their black and white image of love. They didn't believe that we were made this way, or that God loves everybody.” Tobin's eyes darken a little and her head drops. Alex reaches over and laces their fingers together, squeezing lightly to encourage her to continue. “They sent Christen to an anti-gay program, and told me I was going to hell.” Alex doesn't know what to say; she's not really a religious person anymore, so she doesn't understand enough of the bible to help Tobin feel better. Somehow, Tobin seems to sense this, and looks into Alex's eyes to reassure her, “I know I'm not. I know that God loves me just as much as He would if I were straight.”

~

One of Alex's favourite things though, is cuddling with a girl. When she was with Servando, she was always the little spoon, curled up on his chest, tucked under his arm. With Tobin, she has a height advantage, but not much of one, so their positions at any given time are interchangeable.

That's not something that's strictly applicable to her relationship though. At times like this when she's sitting with Kelley watching a movie (which doesn't happen as often as it used to, and Alex can't shake the feeling at the back of her mind that it's her fault), she can pull Kelley's legs into her lap and feel absolutely content. 

The movie's great—it always is, Alex won't admit just how many time's she's watched it—and by the time it's over, Kelley has somehow shifted so that she's almost fully seated in Alex's lap, head resting oh her shoulder. It takes a minute for Alex to notice the dampness on her shirt, and then another to realise that it's coming from Kelley, who is apparently crying on her shoulder.

“Kelley? What's wrong?”

Kelley's voice is muffled against Alex, “It's stupid.”

“Kell, come on, what is it?”

Kelley pulls back enough so Alex can hear her, “I just want my happy ending. I just don't want to be lonely anymore.” She chokes back a fresh wave of tears, then quieter, adds, “I don't want Hope to get married.”

It's breaking Alex's heart, and even more so when she realises how much she's missed. Well, not missed, exactly, but Kelley's crying because she doesn't want to feel alone anymore, and Alex hasn't even noticed until now. It took this much for her to see how much her best friend is hurting, and all she can do to apologise is wrap an arm around her and hold her close. 

“You aren't alone, Kelley. You have me.”

“You have Tobin.” It's not bitter, but it brings to the surface every emotion Kelley's been hiding since they started dating, and suddenly Alex understands. Kelley thinks she's been replaced. She stands up and pulls Kelley up with her, grabbing a Kleenex from the box on the coffee table and drying the wetness from Kelley's eyes.

“Just because I have Tobin now, it doesn't mean I love you any less.” She puts a hand on each of Kelley's shoulders and looks her in the eye for emphasis. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah I know but-”

“Kelley you've been my friend for such a long time. You're such a good friend. Best I ever had.” There's something to Kelley's gaze that suddenly makes Alex feel uneasy, like she's watching and listening more intently than normal. Her eyes are still glistening a little from the tears that almost fell, and Alex's heart swells when she realises how much Kelley cares. About her, and her opinion. She sees it in the look she's giving her, steady and volatile all at once, like Alex is the only thing that matters to her right now.

Then there's a hand on Alex's cheek and lips pressed to the corner of her mouth, and Kelley started it, but she's also finishing it, pulling away and laughing nervously.

Alex isn't laughing, but she's not stepping back, and Kelley's grin fades from her face as she steps in once more, catching Alex's bottom lip between hers.

The gentle bite she feels is what wakes her up. Alex realises exactly what she's doing; cheating on her girlfriend with her best friend, and she couldn't be much more cliché if she tried. Anger flares up inside of her, and she lashes out at Kelley.

“What the hell was that?”

“Sorry, I just-”

“Kelley I have a girlfriend! You like Hope! You're my best friend, I can't do this.” Alex sees Kelley wince as though she's physically hurting her, and tries not to think about how much her friend's heart has been broken recently. 

(She can't shake the thought that she's just another statistic now.)

Kelley's not crying again yet, but Alex repeats, “I can't, I'm going for a walk,” before stumbling out of the room. She stops just outside the door as it shuts for one tortuous second and she hears the dam inside of Kelley break right from where she's standing. She hears the sob that escapes her, more painful than any hard tackle she's ever felt, and so all she can do to prevent the same thing happening to her is run.


	8. Chapter 8

_I'm so sorry Alex. I didn't mean it. Please call me back._

If she's telling the truth, Alex expected more than just a single message from Kelley when she left. 

Still, she can't bring herself to return the call, so she dials the number she knows best. Tobin answers on the third ring.

“Alex?”

Alex hadn't realised she was crying, until her attempt at, “Tobin,” is choked out, and then she runs a hand over her cheek and feels the tears, warm and wet and full of confusion.

Tobin knows what's happened, Kelley called her first, a mess of apologies, but Alex doesn't push to know what was said between them. Kelley and Tobin are friends, even without her in the middle. 

“Kelley made a mistake and she knows it. You have to forgive her.” Tobin's voice softens, “You have to forgive yourself too.”

“Why would I need to forgive myself?”

“Alex, we've been dating for a while now, I think you underestimate how well I know you. I know you're blaming yourself right now. I know you think you led her on or something.” Tobin's right, and Alex lets out a long sigh.

“Just talk to her. I'm sure it'll be okay.” It won't be okay though, Alex thinks, because that kiss took everything Alex thought she knew about her best friend and turned it upside down. (Maybe not everything, maybe she's exaggerating, but it's still a big deal.)

Alex doesn't tell Tobin this though, because her breathing's slowed down and she doesn't feel like she's about to fall apart again, so her girlfriend's done what she's best at. Calming Alex down.

“Thanks Tobin.” She takes a breath. “How's Jersey?”

“Everything's awesome out here. I've actually got something really exciting to tell you but it needs to wait until I'm back home.”

“You can't just leave me hanging like that!”

“But I'm going to.” Tobin laughs down the phone and Alex forgets about everything for a moment. “I'll be back on Wednesday, Ill tell you then. Oh shoot, I have to go eat dinner, but I'll call you tomorrow. Talk to Kelley, it'll be okay.” Tobin pauses, like she's not sure she should continue. She does anyway, with, “I love you.”

Alex's heart swells and she blushes, even from the other side of the country.

“I love you too.”

~

Alex doesn't come home, instead Kelley receive a text shortly after midnight saying _'I'm staying at Ali's. I'll be back tomorrow.'_ The last thing she wants right now is to be alone, but it looks like she's got no other choice. She fumbles with her phone once more, in a final attempt to beg Alex to come back and let her apologise, but she doesn't realise her mistake until the wrong voice answers.

“Kelley?” Kelley sniffs loudly while she registers who's speaking to her.

“Hope? I was trying to phone Alex,” Kelley's emotional tonight, and something as little as phoning the wrong number is enough to bring on a fresh wave of sobs. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.”

“Kelley, are you alright?” When Kelley doesn't answer, Hope takes it as her cue to speak again. “Are you at your house?” Kelley mumbles a confirmation. “Don't do anything. I'm coming over.”

They were never friends, not really. They were acquaintances, who played soccer together, and then Kelley read too much into the little things and fell in love (although she'd never admit that to anyone, not even Alex) and then Hope broke her heart without really knowing it.

~

“I'm sorry I didn't turn up for dinner that one time. I-” Hope's voice breaks, and Kelley can already feel the sting of the blow she's about to deliver. “Kelley, I've been seeing someone. Jerramy.” There it is. “I thought we could go out for dinner as friends, but then he proposed to me that afternoon.” Kelley feels like the air has been sucked from the room. There's tears glinting in Hope's eyes and Kelley hears the words before she says them. “I said yes.”

Her heart crumples in her chest, and her knees no longer feel like adequate support for her body, but she plasters a smile on and prays that Hope can't see through it. “That's good. I'm happy for you.” It's as fake as she's ever been around anyone, because Kelley is a genuine person. Hope buys it, or a least pretends to.

Kelley waits until she leaves before she falls apart.

After Alex falls asleep, she seeks comfort in the middle of the night, with a hand between her legs and her arm pressed over her to quiet her sighs., but afterwards, all she feels is dirty.

~

Ali's a sweetheart, which Alex forgets sometimes. She smiles like she gets it, and offers a place to stay when she's phoned late at night.

Alex feels bad about crashing her night with Ashlyn, but it's not like she knew she was going to be there. There's a movie on, and Ali makes up the guest room for Alex. After ten minutes of being in their presence, she remembers how affectionate they are towards each other, but she also doesn't want to intrude. When Ashlyn's hand drifts under the blanket they're sharing and Ali inhales sharply, Alex decides to go to bed. She thanks Ali profusely, but bursts out laughing once she leaves the room, because she knows exactly what she just gave them permission to do.

(They're vocal, and within ten minutes Alex has the pillow pressed over her ears.)

Still, she's got a place to stay when she can't face going home, and she's willing to suffer a little bit of discomfort for that.

~

Kelley's sobs have quietened by the time Hope arrives. She opens the door, eyes red and blotchy, and Hope wraps her arms around her like they've been friends their whole lives.

Kelley doesn't explain herself, she doesn't think she can without breaking down again, but Hope moves them to the sofa and lays Kelley's head upon her lap. She strokes Kelley's hair and Kelley's heart breaks a little more.

She doesn't know how she feels about much right now, except that Hope broke her heart and then she rebounded on Alex, or maybe Hope was her rebound from Alex and now she's just bouncing back again. Maybe she's not sure about that either.

One thing she is sure of, is the ring on Hope's left hand, that brushes against Kelley's forehead with every strand of hair Hope brushes back into place, and she knows she probably shouldn't ask.

“Where's Jerramy?” Sometimes Kelley does things she shouldn't.

“At home. I told him my friend needed me.” It's enough to break Kelley's heart all over again. Her friend. Maybe Hope was always this oblivious to Kelley's intentions. Maybe she just wanted to be friends. It's the final pained thought that passes through her mind before sleep finally overtakes her tired body.

She wakens again in her bed, and Hope isn't there, so Kelley rolls over and cries herself back to sleep.

Except, the next morning, when Kelley wakes up properly and drags herself into the living room, she finds a barely-awake Hope on the sofa, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. 

“You're still here?” 

“I had to make sure you were okay.” Hope stands from the sofa to look Kelley in the eye. “Now, do you want to tell me what's going on? Or am I going to have to guess?”

Genuine confusion runs through Kelley's mind, and for a moment she forgets why Hope's here in the first place. Then it all comes back to her at once and she has to grip the doorframe to prevent her knees buckling under her. When she speaks, it's more to herself than to Hope. 

“I kissed Alex.”

“Oh?” Hope quirks an eyebrow but doesn't say any more. Kelley can tell she's waiting to hear more.

“I don't know why. I don't even like her that way.” Kelley wonders if Hope can hear the unspoken ' _I like you in that way_ ' hanging in the air between them.

If she does, she doesn't acknowledge it. “Were you drunk?” Kelley shakes her head. Hope clearly doesn't know how to continue the conversation. They're friends at best, nothing more, and anything else she might ask would probably be too intrusive. 

(If Kelley knew Hope even a little bit better, she would know that the fact that Hope stopped her questioning without crossing the line meant she liked Kelley more than she liked most people.)

“I'll be ok. I'll talk to Alex when she comes home.” Hope nods curtly before replying.

“I should probably be getting home. I'm going out for lunch with Jerramy and his parents.”

Kelley has the willpower to feel a some guilt about wishing Hope could stay.

_Stop caring. She's not even a little bit yours._

Hope wraps Kelley in a final embrace, and then she's gone. Kelley's alone again

~

Alex finds herself back at her own front door at ten o'clock that evening. Running was a terrible decision, she thinks, now that she has to face Kelley again. 

_I didn't mean it._

The single text repeats in her head over and over again, and maybe she should have stayed and talked it out. Maybe it was an accident. 

(Maybe the first one was an accident, but you don't kiss somebody properly by accident.)

She wonders if she should knock, but maybe that would make it too formal and she needs it to be relaxed, to feel like nothing's changed so she walks on in. 

Kelley's in the kitchen washing dishes with her back to the door, and if she hears Alex come in she doesn't acknowledge it, so Alex stands in the doorway for a few seconds before speaking.

“Hey.”

“You're back.” Kelley's been crying a lot, Alex can tell. Her voice is scratchy no matter how hard she tries to hide it and there's a pain in Alex's chest when she remembers she's the cause of it.

“I'm sorry I left.” Alex chances a step closer and Kelley tenses up. She sees her friend's shoulders rise and fall with a heavy breath, before Kelley turns to face her.

“I'm sorry Alex.”

She wants to say that it's okay, but she's not sure that it is. She doesn't know how to push the topic further without being insensitive about it, but Kelley doesn't seem inclined to continue speaking. The awkwardness is killing her, but there's nothing she can do. They're equally to blame; Kelley for initiating the kiss, Alex for running.

“I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight Kelley.” Everything's too formal, too controlled, and Alex hates it. She thinks Kelley does too, because as she goes to leave Kelley opens her mouth like she's going to say something. Alex waits a moment, but Kelley wires her jaw shut and turns back to the sink without a word. Alex leaves the room.

Everything's changed in a way she hates, and they've got a long way to go.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm so i have been super super stressed and unmotivated recently so this took some time but i hope you enjoy it

Alex takes the bus to meet Tobin at the airport alone. It's the middle of the day, on a weekday, so Kelley's working. Alex should be too, but she figures she's allowed to give herself an afternoon off every once in a while.

Especially now that she has no clue how to act around Kelley.

Still, she's forgetting about that now, because her girlfriend's back after four days away, and she missed her. She missed her so much, in fact, that she's willing to bypass her rule of minimal PDA for a kiss. Granted it's one that only lasts a few seconds, but when she pulls back, she can tell by the way Tobin's looking at her that she gets how much she was missed. From there it's small talk, dodging the topic of Kelley; Alex because she's still trying to forget about it, Tobin because she has forgotten.

Tobin remembers what's wrong less than five minutes into the journey from the airport. 

“How's things with Kelley?”

Alex sighs and rests her chin on her hands. Tobin's arm comes to settle across her back, hand stroking her side. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Of course we can.” Tobin changes the topic, talks about her family, her friends back home, but her arm doesn't move from around Alex until they reach their stop.

She spends the night like she doesn't have to work in the morning, like there isn't someone waiting for her back home who's been alone far too often recently. She tries not to think about it, because she's got Tobin and Hope's got her fiancé and Kelley's got nobody. 

_'It's not your fault,'_ she tells herself over and over again, but she can't shake it from her mind.

She takes her time with Tobin that night, because she needs to forget Kelley.

It's not working, but then somewhere in the middle Tobin says, “I love you,” for the first time face to face, and Alex can remember nothing else.

~

Kelley's alone again. She gets a text from Alex right as she's about to make dinner, which reads, _I'm staying at Tobin's tonight._ That's all it takes for a wave of emotion to overcome her, so much that she has to lean against the doorframe for support. No tears come, although she half expects them to. 

She forgets about the macaroni and cheese she was about to make and orders a pizza

It's been happening a lot in the past few days. Anytime she's reminded just how much she ruined things she has to stop and catch her breath. She thinks if she's alone tonight she might implode. Alex has been avoiding her so much since the kiss that she's had plenty of time to think over what happened. She's analysed all of it, over and over again until her head hurts and her chest aches.

The boy who delivers her pizza can't be more than sixteen, and she presses the money into his hand and snatches the box away before he really has a chance to breathe.

She eats it quickly, not because she wants to rush, but because (as cliché as it is) she's finding comfort in the food. When it's finished she's left with a bloated stomach and an empty pizza box and a silence that should be broken by Alex poking fun at her for eating so much.

The notion of actually being alone with her thoughts again is one that scares her into calling Kristie. She answers after two rings.

“Hey Kelley, what's up?”

Kelley exchanges the necessary pleasantries before asking, “Are you free tonight?”

Kriste says yes, then agrees to come over. Kelley hangs up feeling a little less lonely.

There's a knock at her door half an hour later, and it's Kristie with movies and a bottle of wine and a smile that breathes a little bit of life into Kelley's heavy heart.

They watch Mean Girls and the weight in Kelley's chest lifts a little more. The credits start rolling but before Kelley get up to turn them off, Kristie speaks.

“So Syd has a boyfriend now.” She looks so little and broken that for a moment Kelley forgets her problems.

“I'm sorry Mewie.”

“I mean I don't know what I expected. She's straight, she wasn't going to date me anyway I just-” she inhales deeply, fighting the tears that spring to her eyes. Kelley reaches over to lay a comforting hand on her knee and for a second she thinks about kissing her. Beautiful despite her tears, she'd be quite the catch for anyone.

Kelley remembers the last time she had that thought, and images of Alex and Hope appear in her mind, so she shakes her head clear from any of them, opting instead for wrapping Kristie in a tight hug.

“I kissed Alex,” it surprises her to hear the words slip from her own lips. She feels Kristie laugh against her shoulder and despite herself joins in, because their situation is as hopeless as it gets.

It takes them a minute to calm down—because somehow everything's funnier when you're heartbroken—but when they do Kelley sighs and says, “I guess we both needed tonight then.” Kristie just nods in agreement.

Kristie leaves just after midnight, and Kelley doesn't cry herself to sleep for the first time in four days.

~

Of course the heartache comes rushing back with a renewed vigour when Kelley wakes the next morning, but she'll take any reprieve she can get.

~

Their situation doesn't improve quickly. It doesn't improve at all for at least a week. Kelley's cautious, like she thinks any sudden movements might scare Alex off, and Alex, although she doesn't mean to be) is jumpy like Kelley could pounce on her any minute.

She tries her best not to be, but it doesn't help.

She tries to ignore the flash of pain she sees in Kelley's eyes when she flinches away when Kelley steps too close.

~

Kelley makes the peace offering during a break at work, ten days after the incident (Alex won't call it anything else in her mind, mostly because she tries not to think of it at all.)

“Can we go back to being friends?” It should be an easy question to answer. Alex should say yes and they can go back to the way they were, before this. If it were that easy though, it wouldn't have taken this long.

“I'm trying Kell.”

“What can I do, to make it easier?” There's something that's been playing on Alex's mind, something that could either fix their friendship or shatter it beyond repair.

“I think-” Now's the chance to tell Kelley what she's been thinking of doing. Her opportunity, her chance to get out of this town and follow her dreams lies across the country, in New Jersey. “It's not what you can do, but there's something I think I need to do.”

Kelley still looks at her with regret, and it's making this all the more painful.

“There's this soccer team, not a big one, but it's a chance for me. Tobin told me about it. If I say yes I have to fly to Jersey for tryouts next week.”

Kelley doesn't speak for a moment, but when she does her voice is calm and steady, “When were you planning on telling me this? We're you even going to talk to me about it?”

Anger flares up inside Alex. “I'm sorry Kelley but things have been a little tense lately if you haven't noticed.”

“Of course I've fucking noticed!” Kelley snaps back, her voice ringing of sadness and frustration and anger. “Of course I've noticed. I fucked up and it's killing me every single day because it hurts you to be around me.” The expletives catch Alex off guard.

“It doesn't hurt me-”

“It does though!” Tears threaten the corner of Kelley's eyes and she presses the palms of her hands against them to try and prevent it. “I've been your best friend for forever, basically,” it hasn't really been forever, or anything close to forever, but Alex won't say that, “I can see it every time you look at me. You can't stand being around me anymore and it's all my fault.”

Alex breathes. She wants to say that no, it's not her fault, but it is. She wants to tell Kelley that she's not looking at her any differently, that nothing's changed, but she would be lying. 

Kelley mistakes her silence for affirmation, and leaves.

~

The soccer team is one that Tobin found out about in her time away. 

“They're just starting, so I'm not sure how high the standard of play would be, but you're good. It could really go places.”

Alex listened to the offer with reluctance at first, murmuring a simple, “I don't know”, when Tobin talked about it. She wished she could be as excited about it as her girlfriend was, but there was something eating away at her. Tobin can tell, of course.

“What is it, Alex?”

She debates saying it for a minute, because it feels selfish for all the wrong reasons, she wants to be grateful for the opportunity but- “I wouldn't be with you.”

“We could figure it out. Try long distance. You wouldn't be there all the time. Besides, you haven't even made the team yet, don't get too cocky.” That gets a small smile from Alex, and Tobin's voice softens, “At least give it a shot.”

Alex didn't want to mention that this was coming at such a time that it would seem she was trying to get away from Kelley.

“I know how much you want this. Just try, that's all I'm asking.”

Alex remembers nodding, agreeing to think about it, and making a mental note to discuss this with Kelley. 

~

She would have discussed it with Kelley before now but if she's telling the truth it slipped her mind. Once or twice she recalled it, but she lost the nerve to say anything when she looked at Kelley.

_She's still looking at me like I'm the only one who matters._

Alex doesn't think it's fair, because this is hard enough for her.

Alex sits in the break room and cradles her head in her hands, and before she can reconsider it, she calls Tobin.

“I'm going to go to Jersey.”

Kelley hears the sentence even through the door, and later on she'll blame it for the body in her bed whose name she can't remember, and doesn't care to.

~

Alex meets the girl the next morning as she's stumbling out of her own room, and the woman is sneaking out of Kelley's. She fires a curt nod in Alex's direction and leaves. Alex pours herself a mug of coffee, then a second, and stands for so long outside Kelley's room that it starts to cool down. Eventually she decides to bit the bullet and go for it. She needs to wake Kelley up anyways.

Her friend is still asleep, predictably, and Alex sets the mug intended for Kelley on the bedside table, before sitting on the bed. She shakes Kelley's calf gently, all too aware this is the first physical contact they've had since the incident, until she groggily returns to consciousness. 

“I made you coffee,” Alex gestures to the mug beside her, and Kelley sits up, hair tousled by sleep (and who knows what else, given the woman Alex saw a few minutes prior) and takes a sip.

“Thanks.”

“I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about Jersey,” Kelley doesn't respond, just keeps staring into her mug, “and I'm sorry that things have been so awkward between us,” still nothing, “and most of all,” Alex debates the next part, but then she remembers that their friendship literally has nothing left to lose, so she says it quietly, “most of all I'm sorry for not feeling the same way as you.”

Kelley looks up from her cup to Alex, trying to gage if she's not being serious, if this is some cruel joke to play with her feelings. Alex can tell.

“I'm sorry that I couldn't feel that way about you, but I do love you as my best friend, and I need that Kelley back. Especially if I'm going to Jersey.” It's selfish of her, to ask all of this of Kelley, who's had her heart broken too much, but Kelley's eyes gleam with a childlike innocence, and she nods her agreement.

“I'd like that. I'd like to be friends.” She doesn't acknowledge the part about Alex leaving, but Alex doesn't push it. 

“I have to go, I'll see you in work,” Alex squeezes Kelley's hand, and watches the way Kelley's eyes flick downwards at the contact with a barely perceptible nod. They've made a small but vital step forwards.

Baby steps. That's all she can ask for.


End file.
